"It's complicated" is the response many couple use to describe their married life together when, in the viewpoint of others who know them, they would seem better served being divorced.

Call it the "un-divorced," a phenomenon in which married partners who seemingly have every reason to divorce remain legally tied together.

The reasons for staying married are many and diverse. For starters, many married couples simply think that a divorce would be too painful. What would happen to friends and social connections? How will the children be affected? What will people think?

Money, too, can be a key factor, and that probably surprises nobody. For the super rich, there can be all kinds of complications related to trusts, legal fees, inheritances and so forth. For the more fiscally strained, it just might be - and usually is - cheaper staying under one roof even after the thrill is gone. Why not continue to be friends and save money by filing a joint tax return? Why not continue to save substantial costs by sharing one health insurance policy? Social Security outlays can also figure into a couple's decision to stay married; getting divorced can in some cases adversely affect benefits.

Experts debate whether un-divorce, now a noticeable trend, is healthy. Opinions differ.
 
The pros: Certainly, for many of the reasons just cited. "If it's a decent relationship, a friendship, but the flame is gone, it might be OK," says Irina Firstein, a psychotherapist. Firstein echoes the obvious financial positives in many cases.

The cons: These include not venturing forth to meet new people, take new risks and assume new challenges. "You can blame everything on the marriage," says Pamela Garber, also a psychotherapist. "It's a way to put a hold on growing up."

One thing is indisputable, though: More and more people are doing it, and the ranks of the un-divorced are swelling.

Related Resource: www.politicsdaily.com "The Un-Divorce: When Leaving Your Marriage Is Just Too Much Work" August 2, 2010