Parents love their kids and, in most instances, want to spend as much time as possible with them. Divorce obviously factors in a major way into custody and visitation calculations, and many of our prior posts have addressed various aspects of these divorce dimensions. We have noted that - especially with visitation - things can sometimes get a bit thorny, even overly contentious, between ex-spouses.

Many divorce attorneys, counselors and other interested parties note that at no time is this more readily apparent than during the holidays, especially the Christmas season. Along with the customary excitement many people experience this time of year comes an attendant and escalating stress level, owing to the demands of many people - including grandparents and other relatives on both sides of a divorce - to see the kids. For some exes, this is coupled by the need to factor in new extended families. Things can feel harried, hurried and just a bit tense. Who gets the children, and when? And what about their best interests?

A recent media article notes the lack of ardor that most judges have for resolving visitation disputes during the holiday season. To begin with, and just like most other work places, courts are understaffed during this time, and not optimally equipped to deal with sudden and "emergency" holiday disputes. When a judge does entertain a visitation issue, the following can be reasonably expected.

  • Sticking to the existing visitation agreement, if one exists
  • The judge not entertaining exotic and overly ambitious plans for the kids authored by one of the parents; it's always about the children's best interests
  • Waiting a long time in court; again, players are out, paperwork is slowed, and things simply take longer
  • Paying more money to jam things through and have an "emergency" motion heard and ruled on by the court

The advice from many for parents with visitation considerations: Try to think things out well in advance and stick with a proven routine that has worked in the past, if possible. New and dramatic changes on short notice during the busiest time of the year are in nobody's best interests.

Related Resource: www.huffingtonpost.com "When the Vows Break: 'Tis the Season for Long Lines in Divorce Court" November 30, 2010