Prenuptial agreements are a useful tool for couples who want to have some security that-should the marriage fail-they know how the property will be divided.

Prenuptial agreements are important to consider for wealthy couples and couples where on spouse has significantly more assets or earning power than the other, but they can also be used by couples where both spouses have careers and in blended families.

One of the difficulties in negotiating a prenuptial agreement, though, is how to do so without "sabotaging" the marriage. The following are some suggestions for successfully negotiating a prenuptial agreement.

Get financial and emotional help from an experienced attorney and a premarital counselor.

Each party should start by getting clear on his/her personal believes and habits regarding money as doing so will more effectively allow clarity in how to act as a couple. A financial therapist may be helpful in this process.


Avoid treating the negotiation process like a business matter, and be mindful of the emotional implications of the legal decisions you are negotiating.

Treat the prenuptial agreement negotiation as working on your financial well-being as a couple. Doing so will take the focus off the negative aspect of the planning-what happens in the event of a divorce. Experts say one of the biggest challenges of negotiating prenuptial agreements is that they make it seem as if you are planning for your divorce at the same time you're planning for the wedding. Psychologically, this creates a sense of futility. If the couple can keep the focus on how to create a strong partnership, the process goes much better.

Realize that the process of negotiating a prenuptial agreement is just as important as actually producing a signed legal document, since the process itself should aim at building a good foundation for a healthy partnership rather than a set up rules to fall back on if the relationship fails.

While prenuptial agreements are not for every couple, they can be very useful for many. Keeping these things in mind while negotiating a prenuptial agreement can make an otherwise painful or awkward process a bit easier.

Source: Rapid City Journal, "RICK KAHLER: Suggestions for couples on how to negotiate a prenup," Rick Kahler, 10 July 2011.